Social Proof

Flirting On Facebook

Episode Notes

Facebook is has become a powerful platform, that has a great importance to our life. It’s not just a blog or a forum. It’s our new way of communication. I’ve recently  seen studies that show that in the US, many spend hours (!) every day on Facebook, running and creating their virtual life.

Women love facebook, and in fact it’s connected to their natural interest in dealing with their image. In fact, there are many advantages for Facebook over regualar dating sites, in addition to the fact it’s totally free.

So you see lots of attractive women, you love how they look, and it could be great to get a date once a week with some of these girls. But how do you approach and convince them to go out with you?

What’s Good About Dating On Facebook?

When I think of facebook, I have at least two aspects that make Facebook better for men who want to pick up and date women.

The first point is that almost every woman has a Facebook acount. Many attractive women don’t bother opening a dating account, because they already have many men intersted and chasing them. So that leaves dating sites with mostly average and below girls. And you want the best right?

Well, you can’t find many of these attractive girls on dating sites, but you definately have them on Facbook.

The second point, is that while on a dating site, every profile looks pretty the same, on Facebook you have more options to show women how attractive, intersting and great man you are. I discuss this on my post about creating an attractive Facebook account.

On Facebook, you can use your social circle to be attractive (for example, by having 1000 friends). And you can also have a big number of photos to show your attractive life style.

Although I said just 2 points, there is a third one: On dating sites, you can’t really be “indirect”, but on Facebook, you just don’t have to tell the girl that you are interested in her already in the beginning.

How Do Most Men Pick Up Women On Facebook

There is a concept that I believe is basic in Pickup – if most men do it, it probably doesn’t work. I suppose that flattering women can be a good tactic, but the problem is that most men flatter, so women are annoyed by hearing flatters. In order to get women interested in you, you must be Unique.

On Facebook, you just need to watch what most men do, and simply do the opposite. So here are the most common ways that men try to approach women of Facebook:

By the way, don’t get me wrong here. there are great women on datings sites, and you can find the love of your life on one of them. But Facebook is indeed a great place to meet women.

By the way, I was was mentioned recently on as one of their 20 recommended sites for learning how to build a dating profile.


Poking is this feature that allows you to send a signal of interest to women, without saying anything. But it doesn’t work, because some many men do it. Women get “poked” by several men every day. Many of them don’t even bother to check who the guy is and how he looks like.

And even if she checkes, what’s unique in you over the other 20 guys that poked her on the same week?

Another problem with poking is that she doesn’t get any notification about your poke. She might as well notice it only a month after you poked her, if ever.

So forget about poking, it lowers your chances to get any response to 0.001%. And even if you get a response, it will be a poke back.

Sending A “Copy-Paste” Message

One of my female friends once showed me the typical messages she gets from guys on Facebook. It basicaly looks like this:

“Hi Sarah,

I like your photos.

Do you want to meet me?


Not only that this kind of message has nothing unique or attractive, it also looks like a message that you sent to another 2000 girls.

Your chances to get a response are again, pretty low. And guess who’s gonna answer you? The most desperate and unattractive women.

Adding Her As A Friend

Adding a girl as a friend, can be actually a successful act. Personally, I created a very attractive account, so most girls accept me if I add them. But – it really depends on how your account looks like. And in addition, adding too many women can get you banned from Facebook, as they don’t like this.

Therefore, I suggest that you get some interaction between you, and only then add her as a friend.

How To Send An Attractive Message

There is a general problem with interactions online, because flirting is harder – you can’t use neither body language nor your tonality, which leaves you only with your words.

But you still can send women a message that will make most of them respond to you. Here are the basic ingredients:

Not A Copy-Paste – Mention something that is uniques about her, prefferably, something that caught your attention, so she will know that you sent this message specifically to her.

Get Her Curious – You want to make her curious about you, and want to respond. I like to use something provocative for this. For example, I mention something that might mean that I am gay, or married. Or I can suggest that she’s a lesbian, etc. But use your imagination- think to yourself – what’s going to make this specific girl curious.

Tell Her Why You Sent The Message – It’s OK to say that she looks intersting to you. But instead of saying something like “I liked your photos”. try to be more specific (and uniques). For example, maybe you liked her sence of fashion? Or you loved her photo from Rome, because you recognize the statue near her.

You Don’t Have To Be Direct - Especially if this is a very attractive girl, it might be better not to show interest on the beginning. Instead, you could be interesting, funny and that’s it. In many cases, women will be more comfortable responding.

Don’t Suggest Anything – Don’t suggest going on a date or drinking coffee from the first message. Instead, develop an interaction with her. It might even take a few days, and only than - suggest that you meet in the real world. Women are often intemidated by guys who want to meet too early.